Ways leaders can manage stress so they retain empathy.
The most caring leaders at times, lose empathy?
The reason behind that is good to understand, especially for leaders and those in situations of trust. Because, when your empathy is low you are being self protective (rightly of wrongly). Not good if you want people to be able to open up to you!
What happens when your empathy levels are low? The team you lead and your peers receive little patience, a surprising tone and dismissiveness; and as a result you can make poor decisions and damage to relationships. And, once your mood has levelled out, you feel bad and unprofessional about how you have behaved..
The reasons leaders (and your team) find their empathy has been reduced:
☹️ Negative stress, where the cortisol and adrenalin are running high through a situation that you or they deem to be threatening to them in some way … E.g. Something you are not confident or competent at what is being asked of you.
😴 Self-care stress, where you brain needs your body to be refuelled and resourced. We’ve probably all had ‘hangry’ moments (I am terrible for this). You are hungry, thirsty or super tired and that becomes your sole focus. You are driven to fulfil that physical need, rush what you are doing and don’t pay full attention to what is being asked of you.
😤 Frustration stress, where for example, you cannot see a way out or know how to help. Such as political situations, natural disasters, those sad news stories; and juggling work and social commitments.
Some solutions
You’ve likely picked up on one solution already. 🗣 TAKE CARE OF YOUR PHYSICAL NEEDS.
A bit like put your own oxygen mask on first. Not just for your physical wellbeing but for your psychological processing too. No vehicles run on empty. And neither do humans. Eat, drink water, sleep and move (outdoors preferably), regularly and not in excess.
Another solution, notice the impact on you state as a result of what you are watching, reading, listening to and the company you keep. If, those things are not making you feel positive, optimistic or hopeful, take a break from it or them.
Stress, when managed well, is useful, productive and can include empathy: Stress, in the right circumstances, builds mental strength and tolerance.
The cortisol and adrenalin release that comes as a result of challenging situations, can help with your focus and attention.
Your tolerance for stress can be positively impacted (and empathy levels maintained) when:
🫶 You are supported, (with the required tools, knowledge and people on your side) in what is required of you and,
⏲️ When the duration of the pressure has a known end or break. Allowing a period for recouperation and rest.
Example:
Consider a surgeon. They need to be focused when operating, much can be at stake. That need for attention and focus generally has an expected timescale that enables their tolerance for the challenge. They have a trained team, who know their role and also have a timed requirement for intense focus.
In summary:
1. Manage your empathy levels by caring for your bodies needs.
2. Encourage the same of your team, and co-create the environment for this.
3. Ensure resources, support and focus have a manageable duration attached to them, with breaks built in.
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